Generally, I’m not a believer in online dating. Although it’s now massively accepted and I wouldn’t personally judge anyone for participating, I hate the idea that we are now so dependent on technology that we can no longer approach someone in a real life situation. However, the sad fact is that 9 times out of 10, when approaching someone in public – they either assume you’re trying to sell them something, or that you’re a complete fucking weirdo.

However, occasionally the unthinkable happens and fate leads you down a road where you cross paths with someone whom with there is an instant connection. Recently I bumped into someone I knew from college – we always knew of each other but rarely spoke during our academic terms. We arranged to meet properly for a coffee/catch up and right away we clicked. Very similar sense of humour, shared interests and immediately things were quite flirtatious almost immediately. Things moved very quickly and we were spending a lot of time together (both being self-employed, our careers meant we both had a lot of free time in the week.) Boat trips, picnics, meals out, bowling, films, drinking – we did a good couple of months dating in a few weeks.

I had been single for about a year and a half prior to this and despite a few encounters here and there, hadn’t really been interested in a relationship. On the whole, I am quite…I wouldn’t say fussy┬ánecessarily, but I would say that if I’m going to be in a relationship, I do like to make sure I’m 100% sure about it when the prospect is there…

So anyway, after a year and half of being single, this came out of nowhere and completely took me by surprise. Late night drunken phone calls, texting and asking to come to mine to stay over, asking when we could next see each other – we seemed inseparable. I didn’t have an issue with that and given that she did a lot of the chasing, I figured I’d go with it and when/if it got to the relationship stage – I’d be ready. But, then I made a fatal mistake…she wasn’t feeling too good one day and I figured I’d get her some bits to chill out with her and I’d give her some space for a few days. So I put together a little gift bag with a mini-bottle of wine, some bath bombs and chocolate…

We met for coffee after a doctors appointment and I gave her the bag and told her to get better soon. She said it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for her and off we went. A couple of days went by as normal, not seeing each other but texting, etc and then I get a text one evening. An instant change in tone kind of text. The whole ‘it’s been great, I feel like a dick but it feels like this is heading toward a relationship and I’m not ready to be in a partnership, despite how lovely you are, etc, etc.’ At first, I wasn’t even too sure myself I wanted a relationship, so agreed that it was fine and we’d still see each other as friends minus the sex, staying over, dates, etc.

However, after spending time with her just as friends I began to realise it wasn’t working for me. I still wanted to be able to kiss her and then I began resenting the fact that I felt I’d been led on. This was purely an egotistical stand point as it usually is when something doesn’t go our way – but still, certain things had been said by her that intact made her seem more interested than even I was letting on at the time. I was trying to play it very cool and not rush things and yet, she seemed to be the one keen to move things forward. Initially when we began hanging out we were open about everything; and she was keen to point out that she never really dates or is interested in having sex for the sake of sex, only when she makes a connection with someone. So the fact that it came to that and we were doing all those things, only for things to then suddenly stop…it was bizarre.

Anyway, this rejection set me back. I was obviously absolutely fine with her point of view, other than the fact that everything until that point had suggested otherwise. We simply had our wires crossed. The usually things went through my mind – “was the sex really that bad?”, “Am I that boring?”, “Has she found someone better?” The fact was, she had made her choice and that was that. Except it wasn’t (she will pop up again throughout this blog.)

But for now, that is what set this events of this blog in motion. Both spurred on for the need to forget this weird short term fling and now that I knew I was perhaps open to finding a relationship now, I began my foray into the weird and wonderful world of online dating…

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